WEEK 7CURRENT
THE NOID
The Noid is a legendary figure in the history of Pizza. Domino’s Pizza to be exact. Did you know that MPA was a manager of a Domino’s Pizza? Did you know that I was a delivery boy for Domino’s Pizza? The Noid is an extremely annoying figure who is mischievous and seeking nothing but calamity. I compare the Noid to a week when you win 3 out of 4 parlays. It is extremely annoying and feels like someone or something… is out to ruin your weekend….
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GEOFF
There are very few people who have been known through history by one name and one name only, Napoleon, Liberace, Mandingo, Prince… Here we may have the greatest leader of them all. He is known only by his unique spelled first name…GEOFF. GEOFF is a true leader of men. GEOFF is such a leader, that as soon as he was hired as the next MSP Colonel, MPA immediately knew he was unworthy to work under him, and QUIT. Under GEOFF’s leadership, the MSP has only averaged TWO new controversies per week. Legend has it that the MSP is likely to be renamed someday to the…GSP
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Vilos Cohaagen
This week’s honorary captain hails from the legendary vacation spot Mars. Vilos Cohaagen is the selection because, in today’s college-football landscape, a team needs a killer instinct to be the last one standing. Cohaagen did not blink when he had the chance to suffocate the people of Mars. Suffocating defense and killer instinct are what it takes to win a national championship and conquer an entire planet—and that is Vilos Cohaagen.
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Henry Heide
Jujyfruits are a chewy, gumdrop-like, starch-based candy manufactured by the Heide Candy Company, a subsidiary of the Ferrara Candy Company. Jujyfruits began production in 1920 and became popular in movie houses alongside Heide’s other gummy candy, Jujubes. The shapes include asparagus bundles, bananas, grape bundles, pea pods, pineapples, raspberries, and tomatoes. The banana shape is stamped with HEIDE. The fruity flavors correspond to the colors rather than the shapes and include raspberry red, anise or licorice black, lime green, orange, and lemon yellow. The candies are firm and harden with age or when chilled. A sour variety is also available. Until January 1999, the green sweets were mint flavored. Hershey, the parent company at the time, changed them to lime after a customer survey found that mint was not a popular flavor. These are best enjoyed slightly stale.
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ORSON FORESTER
Orson Forester is the founding father of TDC, AKA the “Trey Deuce Crips.” He is widely known to be one of the baddest asses to have ever walked the face of the earth. He also founded Old Forester bourbon, which makes him a legend in the single-barrel community. Orson is our beloved Captain this week due to his similarities to Game 5—the talent simply oozes from his persona. When Orson steps onto a field, or anywhere for that matter, he is a force to be reckoned with. He will go toe to toe with you regardless of the time or place. In other words, he is not one to be FCUKED with.
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CHUBBY
The first captain of the year is…CHUBBY from Killer Klowns from Outer Space!!! Chubby has earned the right to be this year’s week one captain due to several factors. In football, when things become difficult, you have to know when to change your strategy!! Chubby knows just that!! If he finds an empty cotton candy cocoon, he knows he can easily about face and locate another! Can’t get the juicy red fluid out of it? No problem! Chubby always has a crazy straw in tow to insert right in!!! Don’t believe me?! Just click the link below!!!
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